New friend found

It has been 3 years since I have graduated from university. Along the way, I have met new people and made new friends in office, at client's office, in class, neighbours. I have become closer to several colleagues who are equally as crappy as I am. Teka-teki and gossips sessions have become a must-have routine whenever we meet each other.

Even though I'm no longer with KL office, we still manage to catch up through ST, SMS or phone call. Funny enough, I felt somewhat drifted from university friends and at the same time I became closer to KL colleagues and even Ipoh colleagues. I guess it is true when they say, "You win some, you lose some".

Out of city

I simply love Cameron Highlands, simply because of the countryside view and the cooling environment. I'm trying to make it a point to go there every year, if time permits. A perfect local getaway weekend trip out of the city!

Grass is not always greener on the other side (!)

Now that I'm back at my hometown, things seem to be much slower and more relax. Finally got to enjoy life after 3 years of rat race in Big City. I get to wake up late and still able to reach office on time. There is no jam or toll and obviously parking fees are much cheaper (1 rate for the whole city to be exact).

Ahhh... Life's good.....

And so I thought....

My first two assignments were pretty relaxing and felt I have made the right decision to come home. And then, all hell break lose.....

I was assigned to work with Ms-Overaudit and was asked to audit manufacturing company. I thought it was pretty straightforward but darn, I was wrong! Inventories were difficult to handle and Ms-Overaudit is really a pain in the arse! No wonder she's a public enemy at workplace. Not only there is a Ms-Overaudit in the firm but there are many weird people in the office who enjoy treating the staffs like cheap labour / slave!! Typical Chinaman company mindset and culture!!

Last week was really stressful and I can't wait till July when my contracts ends!!! Yeah... three more freaking months and I can finally say "Sayonara"!

Auditor (According to Uncyclopedia)

Introduction

Auditors are a species of nomadic mammals who came to Earth from the planet Debitor in the 1960s. Auditors are paperivores and hunt in packs known as audit teams. Each audit team is part of a bigger tribe. There is much tribal rivalry and situations are subject to change as large tribes seek to exterminate one another, but at the time of going to press, the ruling tribe in the audit world was PWC (Pricks With Calculators).

Life Cycle of an Auditor

An audit team typically changes its hunting ground every couple of weeks. Hunting grounds normally take the form of offices, but may also include factories, shops, schools and hyperspace. Any place of work is a potential source of nourishment to the paper-hungry auditor. All audit teams have a leader, who runs ahead of the pack in search of an audit trail. Should he find something suspicious, for example a file that has not been organized in alphabetical order, he will begin baying to attract the attention of the rest of the pack. Once the pack have a sniff of the scent, they are released upon the unsuspecting company, and tear around the offices of the internal accounts department, hunting out similar transgressions. When they find another offending item, they will let out a charecteristic whoop of delight, and fall upon the filing cabinet, tearing the paperwork to shreds with their bare teeth in their eagerness to devour it.

Audit packs have their own dens, known as home offices. The pack visits the office on average once a month, in order to refuel on stationery. Auditors can survive several days and nights without water, sex or sunlight but are liable to fall seriously ill if deprived of paper clips and yellow post-its. These, along with Tippex, are considered special delicacies. Tippex is particularly high in nutrients, and swallowing a small bottle of correction fluid before breakfast is widely believed to have beneficial effects on an auditor's digestive system.

Evolution of Auditors

Among laypeople there is a common perception that auditors and accountants are the same thing. Until 4 January 1972, this may or may not have been true. Before this time accountants and auditors had rested secure in the knowledge that debit was the side nearest the window. This is the first commandment of auditing, as given by Journalus Creditus and is believed by all auditors with a deep religious devotion. On this fateful day, however, Pricks with Calculators opened a brand spanking new den in the centre of London. Due to a tragic misunderstanding with the architect, a terrible mistake occurred; namely, that the building was constructed on a corner. The result was that the office now had windows on two walls. The accounting world was thrown into a dark and terrible confusion and a dreadful schism occurred. One group believed debit was the side nearest the window overlooking the high street, whilst the other could not be shaken from the conviction that it was the window overlooking the multistorey carpark. The matter was referred to an independent government committee, who eventually ruled that it was indeed the high street facing window. Those accountants who had believed in the multi-storey carpark were distraught and flew into a violent frenzy with much wailing and shredding of papers. They felt so embittered that they vowed never to perform any constructive book-keeping tasks again. Instead they swore to roam the earth in search of other people's book-keeping mistakes, in an attempt to dull the pain of their own unforgivable error. Initially they were content just to detail the errors in Audit Reports. The recession of the 1980s, however, meant times soon became lean and it was then that the custom of consuming erroneous paperwork was born.

Characteristics of Auditors

Whilst auditors come in both genders, males outnumber females in a ratio of 2:1. There is a good evolutional reason for this since the first thing a trainee auditor must master is the art of double-entry. It is customary for large tribes of auditors such as Pricks With Calculators to send their new recruits on month-long residential courses to practice this useful skill. For obvious reasons of practicality, only one female auditor is required for every two men.

In general, the best time to spot an auditor is during the so-called Audit Season which runs from January to April. Auditors with their distinctive pin-stripe plumage will be present in large numbers in all major offices, factories and places of work. If you think you have seen an auditor, approach with caution. Avoid making eye contact, as this may be viewed as antagonistic. Should the auditor begin to behave aggressively towards you, asking what proportion of your contingent liabilities you consider probable, the best advice is to shout "Enron!" and run very fast in the opposite direction. This will make the auditor in question shrivel up and die.

Auditors and Reproduction

Stocktaking is a strange version of foreplay perculiar to auditors. The audit pack will arrive at an industrial premises at 6am in the morning and demand to know how many widgets they have. The auditors will then spend many happy hours counting the widgets and comparing their results to the figures on the company stock system. The more unexpected discrepancies that they find, the more sexually aroused they become. If at the end of the day they conclude that the company has been overstating their widgets, they will spontaneously orgasm en masse and begin to practice their double-entry by way of celebration. It doesn’t have to be widgets, it could be grains of sand. So long as its something which there is absolutely no value in counting, it will do the trick.

Becoming An Auditor

In order to become an auditor, it is necessary to pass the initiation rites of the ICAEW. There is a common misconception amongst laypeople that these initials stand for the Institute of Chartered Accountants of England and Wales. In fact, they represent the Institute of Calculator Addicts and Excel Worshippers. Trainee auditors spend many years at auditing colleges, where they study diverse subjects including BF (Better Filing), BM (Being Miserable) and FR (Finding Romance). In order to become officially qualified it is necessary to achieve a high pass in BF and BM combined with a bad fail in FR.

If reading this article has made you feel you would like to become an auditor, you are advised to seek immediate psychiatric help.

(www.uncyclopedia.org/wiki/auditor)

Totally pissed!

A simple enquiry can take me hours to get an answer! Thanks to Takaful Nasional ineffective and ineffiencient staffs! They just get on my nerves, putting me on hold over the line and asking me to call this and that extention! ArgghhhH! Damnit! I know it's Raya soon and they are in holiday mood already but for God's sake, be user friendly for once and help me to solve my ever simple problem!!

Appreciate Him

My husband is my everything. He is the reason I get up in the morning, and the reason I smile all day long. I am a homemaker; I stay at home with our three year old all day and take care of our household, our assets, etc. Meanwhile, my husband goes to work, works 10 to 12 hour days, and usually comes home stressed and upset. But oh, how he loves me. When he comes in the door, he doesn't even take off his hat before kissing me. He won't say hi to our boy, use the restroom, or do ANYTHING until he has found me, held me, and told me how much he loves me. Every day, I wait until he gets home to make dinner because he likes to help me, and everyday, he tries to kick me out of the kitchen, telling me to put my feet up because I must be tired, and he's got everything under control. He's the one that's tired! But he doesn't care. He takes care of me. There isn't a morning or night that goes by that he doesn't tell me how absolutely beautiful I am. There isn't one hour that goes by that he doesn't tell me how much he loves me. Why does he do it? How did I find the perfect husband? Well, all I can say is that I found him by the grace of God, and he does it because I appreciate him. Men need to know, above all other things, that what they're doing is not only noticed, but appreciated, valued, and supported. The next time you find yourself lying in bed lying on his shoulder, STOP. Get up, prop yourself up, and let him lay on yours. Then lean down and whisper into his ear how much you value everything he does for you. Remind him that you are there for him no matter what, and that you will love him come hell or high water. My husband gives a sigh of relief every time. Men need to know they are appreciated. You'd be surprised what a difference it makes.--submitted by Jennifer

Reading this post does makes me think for a while... do I appreciate D ? Do I make him feel valued? Does he know that I really love him? Men are just like us ladies... want to be loved and pampered. Well, who doesnt enjoy that regardless man/woman? I know I want to be loved and pampered like a princess, appreciated and valued by the one I love... How about you? *wink*

Both mine and his birthdays are just around the corner and I've got a little silly plan in mind...
A surprise for him I would say... just pray hard that it wont screwed up and hope things go smoothly next weekend...

Past..

Something is bothering me... something which is a past and yet it is still haunting me... why can't I let it go?

Yeah, I know...let go of the past and cherish the present and look fwd to the future...

But... talk is cheap, havent you heard?

Strangers with similar name

Was feeling a bit bored just now. Went to google site and typed my own name in. Surprisingly found a girl with the same first name as me who's living in Port Dickson. Can't locate her email though... if not, would have drop her a line and says hi!

Comic strip about auditors =P

I QUIT! (err... not now)

Well, well ... another colleague is leaving the firm. What's new? That happens every single week in my workplace! The common question that pops up every now and then whenever I meet my colleagues is... " So, when are you planning to leave the firm?" Err... well, that isnt a very encouraging question to ask?!?!I kinda get jealous or rather feel upset whenever I hear friends earning more than I do... I mean, I worked my ass off in this firm, worked late without charging OT, get scolding from client for nothing and yet I'm earning peanuts! Sigh... is the title Accountant really that important to me? I seriously wonder! I have been looking for other jobs and going for interviews but somehow, I just dont have the guts to resign... It's like as if I'm stuck in a magnetic field and I cant get outta it! I know, I know.... I'm a coward! It has always been my ambition to become Accountant (the so-called noble,high earning position..YEAH RIGHT!) since I was young. I've studied so many years with the will to become a number crunching creature and I just thought that resigning now means my effort for the past 8 years has gone down the drain... I dont know...

For now, I'll just continue working and hope to pass my papers soon.. as Mr U always say.."Finish your papers first!"

Alrighty then...

It has been a while...

Ah well, it has been a while since I last visited this page of mine... my story on HK never did really continued as promised... What can I say, been busy like hell with work and studies! Gosh... cant believe I survived the journey... It wasnt easy juggling work, studies and other *significant* stuffs all at the same time... But now as I look back, I kinda enjoyed keeping myself busy ..really busy and with exam is just around the corner, I have began to worry what will I do on weekends after my exam?!?! So used to occupying my weekends with classes and workshops and now I have both days free! UmmMmm... probably will start taking up short courses to enrich myself.. yoga? Mandarin class? .... Will consider that after my exam... As for now.. will concentrate on exam which falls on 23rd May! Wish me luck ya! =)

Trip to be remembered... taking the road less travelled!

Lian Sim : Well, I'll be going alone. =)
Friends / Mum / Dad / Bro / Colleagues : What?! *Shocked*

Haha.. well that was the reaction I received when I told my family , friends and colleagues that I'll be going to HK... ALONE! I wasnt planning to travel on me own, but due to unforseen circumstances, a friend of mine pulled out from the trip and I seriously did not want to postpone or cancel my plan. I've always wanted to travel, to see the world and experience different cultures in other countries. Besides, I know the Canto language and to me, it shouldn't be a problem going to HK alone.

And so, after my MICPA exam on the 28th Nov, I packed my stuff into my backpack and get ready for my little tiny adventure in HK. My bro and his girlfriend were kind enough (Thanks!) to send me to airport at night. They waited 'till I checked in my luggage before waving goodbye. At 10.30pm, we were allowed to board the plane and I was being seated on the front row, right next to the door. And so... when the air stewardess closed the door at 11.00pm... BANG! I suddenly felt scared! All sorts of questions rushed through my head..."What am I doing?", "What am I going to do there?", "I'm scared to be alone in HK/Macau!", "Am I making the wrong decision?" "OMG!!!" . In a split of seconds, I wanted to ask the air stewardess to open the plane door and tell her that I do not want to leave KLIA! But, instead of doing that, I told myself to calm down and recited some prayers to clear my mind. Breathe, baby... BREATHE slowly! .... Managed to calm down and kept on reassuring myself that I shouldnt change my mind of going for holiday. And so, throughout the 3 hours flight... I did not manage to catch any sleep (probably because I was too excited and scared at the same time) and LonelyPlanet guide became my companion throught the flight. Btw, the lady and the man who sat next to me were very friendly and kind. We chatted with each other and I tought to myself ... now that's a good start, meeting friendly strangers! =)

To be continued...

Music...

I've always enjoyed listening to female singers singing songs that are accompanied by only guitars. Listening to Mei Chern - Feels Like Falling reminds me of songs sung by Lizards Convention. It has been so long since I last listened to their songs. I remembered buying their album when I was still in secondary school, Form Three if I'm not mistaken. Wow! That would be more than 9 years ago! Wondering what happened to Lizards Convention now...