Friday, January 15, 2010

A new beginning

As I sat down and think of the new adventure that awaits me next week, I cant help but to look back at what I have been doing/achieved for the past 15 months after I left the audit firm. Time flies and without knowing it, I was working with Uncle B for 15 months and visited many countries. I enjoyed it and yes, I was under a lot of work stress throughout that period. With the help of fellow colleagues, I managed to meet the deadline and completed task given.

And yet, I felt demotivated most of the time and my self-esteem was getting lower. I felt that the bosses tend to pay more attention to the favored colleagues and neglected the rest of us. I can ignore them but yet, it somehow affected me and my performance in the company. I wasnt giving 100% when performing my tasks as I know that no one will pay attention to my work.

Somehow, God must be listening to my complaints and decided to give me another chance to do well in my work and that's when Uncle N came into the picture. It has been a long and winding road to get to Uncle N; 6 months, 5 different countries, 2 interviews, 1 decision.

Was the decision made out of desperation or was it the right choice? Everything happens for a better reason. It is time to do something that I want and something that I'm interested in. I dont mind not travelling extensively to other countries and a lower salary. Give and take, pros and cons, yin and yang.

Time will tell if I will be happier, more satisfied with the new adventure...

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

It's all about the trippin' !

6 months gone and I've been to 6 countries , 3 continents within this period! Amazing feat, thanks to BH!

Guess I should start to jot down my trippin' details before memory fades away..

Friday, July 11, 2008

New friend found

It has been 3 years since I have graduated from university. Along the way, I have met new people and made new friends in office, at client's office, in class, neighbours. I have become closer to several colleagues who are equally as crappy as I am. Teka-teki and gossips sessions have become a must-have routine whenever we meet each other.

Even though I'm no longer with KL office, we still manage to catch up through ST, SMS or phone call. Funny enough, I felt somewhat drifted from university friends and at the same time I became closer to KL colleagues and even Ipoh colleagues. I guess it is true when they say, "You win some, you lose some".

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Out of city

I simply love Cameron Highlands, simply because of the countryside view and the cooling environment. I'm trying to make it a point to go there every year, if time permits. A perfect local getaway weekend trip out of the city!

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Grass is not always greener on the other side (!)

Now that I'm back at my hometown, things seem to be much slower and more relax. Finally got to enjoy life after 3 years of rat race in Big City. I get to wake up late and still able to reach office on time. There is no jam or toll and obviously parking fees are much cheaper (1 rate for the whole city to be exact).

Ahhh... Life's good.....

And so I thought....

My first two assignments were pretty relaxing and felt I have made the right decision to come home. And then, all hell break lose.....

I was assigned to work with Ms-Overaudit and was asked to audit manufacturing company. I thought it was pretty straightforward but darn, I was wrong! Inventories were difficult to handle and Ms-Overaudit is really a pain in the arse! No wonder she's a public enemy at workplace. Not only there is a Ms-Overaudit in the firm but there are many weird people in the office who enjoy treating the staffs like cheap labour / slave!! Typical Chinaman company mindset and culture!!

Last week was really stressful and I can't wait till July when my contracts ends!!! Yeah... three more freaking months and I can finally say "Sayonara"!

Monday, March 03, 2008

Auditor (According to Uncyclopedia)

Auditors are a species of nomadic mammals who came to Earth from the planet Debitor in the 1960s. Auditors are paperivores and hunt in packs known as audit teams. Each audit team is part of a bigger tribe. There is much tribal rivalry and situations are subject to change as large tribes seek to exterminate one another, but at the time of going to press, the ruling tribe in the audit world was PWC (Pricks With Calculators).
Life Cycle of an Auditor
An audit team typically changes its hunting ground every couple of weeks. Hunting grounds normally take the form of offices, but may also include factories, shops, schools and hyperspace. Any place of work is a potential source of nourishment to the paper-hungry auditor. All audit teams have a leader, who runs ahead of the pack in search of an audit trail. Should he find something suspicious, for example a file that has not been organized in alphabetical order, he will begin baying to attract the attention of the rest of the pack. Once the pack have a sniff of the scent, they are released upon the unsuspecting company, and tear around the offices of the internal accounts department, hunting out similar transgressions. When they find another offending item, they will let out a charecteristic whoop of delight, and fall upon the filing cabinet, tearing the paperwork to shreds with their bare teeth in their eagerness to devour it.
Audit packs have their own dens, known as home offices. The pack visits the office on average once a month, in order to refuel on stationery. Auditors can survive several days and nights without water, sex or sunlight but are liable to fall seriously ill if deprived of paper clips and yellow post-its. These, along with Tippex, are considered special delicacies. Tippex is particularly high in nutrients, and swallowing a small bottle of correction fluid before breakfast is widely believed to have beneficial effects on an auditor's digestive system.
Evolution of Auditors
Among laypeople there is a common perception that auditors and accountants are the same thing. Until 4 January 1972, this may or may not have been true. Before this time accountants and auditors had rested secure in the knowledge that debit was the side nearest the window. This is the first commandment of auditing, as given by Journalus Creditus and is believed by all auditors with a deep religious devotion. On this fateful day, however, Pricks with Calculators opened a brand spanking new den in the centre of London. Due to a tragic misunderstanding with the architect, a terrible mistake occurred; namely, that the building was constructed on a corner. The result was that the office now had windows on two walls. The accounting world was thrown into a dark and terrible confusion and a dreadful schism occurred. One group believed debit was the side nearest the window overlooking the high street, whilst the other could not be shaken from the conviction that it was the window overlooking the multistorey carpark. The matter was referred to an independent government committee, who eventually ruled that it was indeed the high street facing window. Those accountants who had believed in the multi-storey carpark were distraught and flew into a violent frenzy with much wailing and shredding of papers. They felt so embittered that they vowed never to perform any constructive book-keeping tasks again. Instead they swore to roam the earth in search of other people's book-keeping mistakes, in an attempt to dull the pain of their own unforgivable error. Initially they were content just to detail the errors in Audit Reports. The recession of the 1980s, however, meant times soon became lean and it was then that the custom of consuming erroneous paperwork was born.
Characteristics of Auditors
Whilst auditors come in both genders, males outnumber females in a ratio of 2:1. There is a good evolutional reason for this since the first thing a trainee auditor must master is the art of double-entry. It is customary for large tribes of auditors such as Pricks With Calculators to send their new recruits on month-long residential courses to practice this useful skill. For obvious reasons of practicality, only one female auditor is required for every two men.

In general, the best time to spot an auditor is during the so-called Audit Season which runs from January to April. Auditors with their distinctive pin-stripe plumage will be present in large numbers in all major offices, factories and places of work. If you think you have seen an auditor, approach with caution. Avoid making eye contact, as this may be viewed as antagonistic. Should the auditor begin to behave aggressively towards you, asking what proportion of your contingent liabilities you consider probable, the best advice is to shout "Enron!" and run very fast in the opposite direction. This will make the auditor in question shrivel up and die.
Auditors and Reproduction
Stocktaking is a strange version of foreplay perculiar to auditors. The audit pack will arrive at an industrial premises at 6am in the morning and demand to know how many widgets they have. The auditors will then spend many happy hours counting the widgets and comparing their results to the figures on the company stock system. The more unexpected discrepancies that they find, the more sexually aroused they become. If at the end of the day they conclude that the company has been overstating their widgets, they will spontaneously orgasm en masse and begin to practice their double-entry by way of celebration. It doesn’t have to be widgets, it could be grains of sand. So long as its something which there is absolutely no value in counting, it will do the trick.
Becoming An Auditor
In order to become an auditor, it is necessary to pass the initiation rites of the ICAEW. There is a common misconception amongst laypeople that these initials stand for the Institute of Chartered Accountants of England and Wales. In fact, they represent the Institute of Calculator Addicts and Excel Worshippers. Trainee auditors spend many years at auditing colleges, where they study diverse subjects including BF (Better Filing), BM (Being Miserable) and FR (Finding Romance). In order to become officially qualified it is necessary to achieve a high pass in BF and BM combined with a bad fail in FR.

If reading this article has made you feel you would like to become an auditor, you are advised to seek immediate psychiatric help.

Monday, October 16, 2006

Totally pissed!

A simple enquiry can take me hours to get an answer! Thanks to Takaful Nasional ineffective and ineffiencient staffs! They just get on my nerves, putting me on hold over the line and asking me to call this and that extention! ArgghhhH! Damnit! I know it's Raya soon and they are in holiday mood already but for God's sake, be user friendly for once and help me to solve my ever simple problem!!